This article is a little bit too graphic for the Blog, but we wanted to share an excerpt from the story… if you don’t mind a little BDSM and negotiated impact play, and role play… you may want to check out this article in it’s entirety. Marilyn is a fantastic writer… and she paints a VERY vivid picture with her words. However to see it, you’re going to have to visit the magazine at the link below.
………….“Do you wanna talk about what just happened?” He asks.
“I wanted to see how much I could take,” I say. “ I wanted to make you proud.”
“Was it too much?” D asks, and I nod.
“Did you enjoy it before it got to be too much?” He asks, and I nod again.
“Brat enjoyed it, but Bunny got scared?”
“Bunny got really scared,” I say, and more tears well up. “I tried to hold her back but I couldn’t.”
We stay until the water gets cold. I put on one of D’s flannels, and I fall asleep in his arms.
Before D, the most I’d explored kink was a pair of fuzzy handcuffs, used once; D taught me silk ties work better. Being submissive wasn’t really a revelation for me, but an inherent proclivity; it just made sense. Before D, I’d never truly gotten the chance to explore it, having gravitated my whole life to partners who admired my tendency to lead and control, and assumed that would transfer into the bedroom. In fact, it’s the opposite; allowing myself to surrender control is immensely refreshing and therapeutic. With D, a natural and experienced Dom, I found a door opened for a complete sexual revolution. I melted under his touch, and from then on all I wanted was to submit to him.
Over the last year and a half our dynamic has evolved. First D was my Master and I his Slave; we played with degradation and praise, restraints, service, respect, sadomasochism. Degradation was surprisingly helpful for confidence outside the bedroom – sort of a reverse psychology. Suddenly, I understood how to do things wrong, and how to like it. Friends began to tell me I seemed happier and more easily approachable. But while I was learning to be a good and obedient Slave, I was also learning to be a Brat. When I challenged him he looked at me like I had lit a fire behind his eyes, and it was thrilling to provoke punishment. I learned how much pain I could take, how cathartic it could be to push myself until I broke, and could release tension I’d been holding. We played with different punishments and implements, advanced breath play, Shibari. He began calling me Princess, and I began calling him Daddy. We explored our Master/Slave and Brat Tamer/Brat dynamics for over a year, and the two often intertwined. It was only a few months ago that we began to explore a DD/LG dynamic, too.
While there are many ways to be Little, for me it’s been less about specific age regression and more about tapping into a deep-rooted need to be taken care of, to not be alone, to have a barrier between me and the scary outside world. I don’t dress up, have a pacifier, or use babytalk, though I respect other Littles who do. When I’m in Littlespace I don’t like pain, despite being a masochist. I don’t like degradation, despite being a Slave. Little me thrives on praise, comfort, love, and security.
Each dynamic affords us different satisfactions, but I’ve also learned it’s important to separate them.